The Essence of Pain and Suffering

Having broken nearly every major bone in my body, an arm and a foot, a joint in my shoulder, two ribs and my neck, all at different times, I came to realize the essence of pain and suffering. It was only after tens years of near constant hurting and significant contemplation, medications, surgeries and therapy that I realized the difference between the two. Trust me when I say that the mental suffering lasted far longer than the physical healing. If you are in pain or suffering, I hope this hastens your realization.
 
Pain is the necessity of having a physical body. Suffering comes from the vaporware installed in our mind and is optional. We choose to suffer or decide to opt out. This is the essence of pain and suffering.
 
Pain is an unpleasant physical sensation that causes discomfort, the throbbing from a sudden impact or the aching muscle strained from working too hard. The cure is naturally physical, such as an ice pack, therapy, or perhaps medication that reduces inflammation.
 
Contrary to conventional wisdom, suffering is far different than pain. It is a condition created in our mind when our internal desires and expectations do not match our external environment. A few examples are useful to illustrate this point. We suffer when our internal software believes we deserve a raise but the boss says no. We suffer when we love another who does not love us back. We suffer when we are a trusting person and someone breaks that trust. This is where the choice comes in. We have the option of continuing with the internal belief, I deserve a raise, accepting the external feedback, no you don’t, or evaluating both and resolving the difference. If you ignore the discrepancy it will result in continued suffering. In the examples above the source of mental anguish is nothing physical, it is a thought form.
 
The confusion in understanding the difference between pain and suffering arises because they are closely related; one is the catalyst for the other. Physical pain affects our state of mind, causing us to suffer. Likewise, suffering disrupts the natural biological processes and changes the chemistry in our body and increases our susceptibility to physical ailments. Suffering also causes us to do things we might not normally do if we have a peaceful and clear state of mind, such as drinking too much alcohol or getting into a fight. 
 
I have some advice. First, if you are falling and about to break a rib, I strongly encourage you to stick out an arm or leg and use that to protect your ribs. Seriously, arms and legs can be put in a cast and heal without much or any ongoing pain. Ribs however, hurt every time you breathe and you can certainly forget about any dramatic nighttime activity for a good six months. Zumba or dancing are definitely out of the picture. Okay, that probably wasn’t what you were looking for but I still think it’s good counsel. When it comes to pain, all I can say is Pshh It Happens, the lyrics from It Happens by Sugarland. When you hurt yourself, just start hummingPshh it happens.
 
If it is not obvious by now, my focus is on suffering. What can I say? It’s the only one of the two that is optional remember? So here is my best advice if you’re suffering: find out who did it. I’ll give you a clue … no, it didn’t happen in the dining room with the knife … but there’s a mirror in the hallway and you need to go look in it. Yes, I’m sorry to say, it’s you. You’re the villain. If you are suffering, there is something wrong inside you and you have to discover what it is. If you don’t feel loved, do you love yourself? If you believe you are worth more, what do others see that you don’t? If you don’t like the environment you are in, why don’t you have the confidence and courage to find a new one? The discomfort we feel inside that causes suffering is usually the result of a lack of confidence, courage or faith and the root cause for these is typically a psychological tape playing in our head. That tape could be from a childhood experience or to paraphrase Dr. Phil McGraw in Self-Matters, a defining moment, critical decision or pivotal person that installed a software virus (aka the tape). You have to find that tape and use the uninstall program. Caution: when you uninstall a program, you leave a blank spot on your hard drive and if you don’t fill it with the new updated positive release (aka a positive affirmation), the old virus might return.
 
What do you think? Feedback is always greatly appreciated. It is through sharing that we grow and giving that we receive.

(C) copyright 2011 by Jonathan D. (JD) Messinger. All rights reserved.